how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
