Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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