first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I touched a dick in church today
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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