I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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