You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
