I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
