If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is classic penis vs brain.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
