wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize