Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
The best revenge is premature balding
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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