epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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