Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
