it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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