I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
