"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
