I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize