so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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