just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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