Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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