That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
