You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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