Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
