You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
