Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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