I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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