remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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