It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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