and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
