How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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