I cannot find my penis.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
My balls are so social today.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
