Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
