when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize