Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
