He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
