idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I have post one night stand depression
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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