I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize