How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Let's get the cat blown out
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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