How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
