My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
4 words: hood of his car
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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