You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
