shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
