i wish my penis had a tongue
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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