he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
