I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
