I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize