I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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