I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
