this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
