she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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