how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
