I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
