Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
