weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Also, beer. Big fan.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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