Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
