...so i touched it.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize