I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
