Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
