Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I am midnight drunk by noon
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
