Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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