I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
